You've Goat to Be Kidding, Right?

Hello friends.

Well, its been a while since we last had the chance to sit down and shoot the breeze. In fact, its been a while since I’ve had the chance to sit down at all!

You see, we’ve really gone off the deep end around here.

We decided that we’d like to get some goats. Not many, maybe just 4 or 6 so we’d have a few babies to sell each year as a hobby that might earn a bit of money. I started searching around and researching goats, breeds, the industry and the market. The more I researched, the better the idea became. We started going out to goat farms, talking to breeders, looking for a few “girls” to bring home.

One of these phone calls resulted in the discovery that there was a small herd of bred does for sale about ½ hour from us. Wow! What a find!! I spoke to the owner Sunday morning, and two hours later I was standing in his pasture viewing his lovely goats. He had 25 bred does and a buck for sale as a package. Right then and there I told him “I’ll take em!”

I guess I must have been running a fever that day because who in their right mind would do such a thing?

The following week was a whirlwind of preparations. We had exactly one week to get a load of straw, hay, build a fence, construct adequate shelter (with electricity and heat lamps no less), figure out how to get water to them, research goats (their habits, nutrition, health and kidding), find a livestock guardian dog, and somehow remain semi-sane. Exactly one week from the day I discovered this herd we loaded them up and brought them home.

And so it began.

Of course, we weren’t done everything yet.

We frantically continued preparing the pens while the goats waited patiently in the trailer. As darkness started to fall we wrestled each goat to the ground, gave her an eartag, vaccination, dewormer, vitamin E/selenium injection and trimmed her hooves. Mind you, it was -20 C, the vaccine kept freezing into slush, the ear tags were so cold they were brittle and kept breaking and the light was fading fast. Definitely not ideal! By 8 pm on Sunday we were finally settling them into their pens with hay and water for the night. Phew. What an ordeal.

We managed to get a few restless hours of sleep in and at 2:30 am I decided I best go check how everyone was doing. I was worried the stress of the day would have convinced one of the girls that kidding would have been a good idea. When I stumbled into the pen with my eyes half closed and my PJs tucked into my goaty-smelling coveralls I couldn’t believe my eyes. The youngest doe, a yearling, had a huge swollen cheek. It was about the size of a baseball and she couldn’t seem to eat, drink or bleat normally. Poor little creature!! She was also limping badly on the front end from our rushed hoof trimming job that clipped her toe and left her bleeding. She was limping on the hind end, perhaps from a sore muscle from vaccine or? I didn’t know. I was so devastated to see “Dora” in such bad shape.

I rushed back to the house and fired up the computer. I searched everything I could on lumpy goats. The most glaringly obvious cause was a terribly contagious abcess disease that renders your herd worthless as the carcasses are condemned. My first day as a goat farmer and already my herd was in ruins!! I was in such a panic that I couldn’t sleep a wink for the rest of the night.

Early the next morning I called the vet clinic that had sold me the vaccine. I described the symptoms and they assured me it was a vaccine reaction. My darling husband rushed 45 minutes to town to buy the goat some anti-histamine and raced straight home, taking the day off of work. We bundled our little Peanut into his car seat, parked next to the corrals and practiced rugby tackles to catch Dora. We gave her the injection and inspected her lumpy face. It sure seemed hard. I stuck my finger in her mouth….hmmmm, pulpy and gross. Must be one heck of a bad infection.

I decided to call a different vet for a second opinion. This vet agreed, it did sound like a bad abcess. I asked that she please come straight out and drain it. We didn’t need it spreading like wildfire through the herd.

An hour later I sat waiting in the corrals, covered in sweat and with my elbows coated in goat shit from 8 failed attempts at tackling Dora myself. Apparently while this was going on the vet was wandering around our property, lost, and enticing the dogs dispatch her should she take one misstep. She phoned Dearly Beloved who was trying to encourage Peanut to nap asking where in God’s Name was his wife. Dearly Beloved told her to go to the corrals as I was waiting there. The vet then drove over to my parent’s yard and started honking. Luckily she chose vet medicine over a career that requires some sense of direction and navigation.

Finally I lured her to the proper area and we waited for Dearly Beloved, with Peanut in tow, to come help rugby tackle Dora. Once we had her secured the vet took her temperature and checked her over. Oh yes, her face was mightly swollen, poor little goat. The vet then stuck her fingers in Dora’s mouth and groped around. She managed to pull out a baseball sized ball of cud. Oh my, did my face turn 87 shades of crimson. But PRAISE BE JESUS! The goat did not have a terrible, contagious disease. She was just a glutton. The vet bandaged up her sore foot in a smart hot pink bandage and was on her way.

Phew.

What an intro to goats.

Things went better the rest of the day. Nobody died or even threatened to. We continued to work in a frenzy to get everything ready. I think in a week or two we’ll be ready to bring goats home.

As night fell I went out one last time to check the girls over. Best be sure nobody was in trouble or deciding to birth their babies. Everyone was nestled into their bedding, comfy and content. Oh, but what is this I see?? Dora, officially World’s Stupidest Goat, holding the world record for Not Swallowing the Contents of Your Mouth for the Longest Time was sitting there with another huge baseball sized lump in her face. What a friggin idiot.

Now, you may think I may be regretting my decision to become a lowly goat herder. Ahhh, yes, it may seem that way, but there is a silver lining.

You see, I’ve always been a bit downtrodden that I didn’t pursue a career in vet medicine. I’ve always felt like a bit of a weenie for obtaining my degree in Animal Science instead of going the distance and completing vet school. Yet yesterday it all fell into place and it was perfectly clear to me that this is where I am supposed to be in life. The young female vet came out and worked on our goats. I asked her how things were going and she told me she was unable to ride anymore due to lack of time. We had a lengthy and intelligent discussion about health care, early castration and tusk removal in pigs. Then she drove off to the next farm. Meanwhile, I finished checking up on my new herd of 25 lovely, fluffy snow white goats, and pulled my 15 month old son home in his sled, enjoying the sunshine at a leisurely pace. Once home we enjoyed lunch and a nap. It doesn’t get much better than that, does it? I am convinced that this is exactly the perfect job for me and I feel very fulfilled. Today Will and I spent the afternoon enjoying the fresh air and sunshine as I recorded ear tag numbers and came up with a name for each of the girls. Will loved exploring the pen with the docile and curious goats, and even tried to start a conversation, standing face to face with one of the does and saying “Mooooooooo”. LOL It was so cute and I really couldn’t imagine being anywhere else at that moment.

So please join me in extending a warm welcome to our 26 new residents: Fiji, Diva, Penelope, Scoop, Puff, Peggy, Freckles, Betty, Jett, Janice, Salsa, Frizz, Claudia, Pepper, Margo, Flips, Pixie, Tyra, Polly, Angelique, Capri, Twist, Flora, Dora, Twiggy and Big B.

Til the next adventure,
Tam