Playing Poohsticks

What is up with children's books? I am appalled, disturbed and often bewildered at the stuff that gets published. Today, for instance, lil Peanut totters up to me with a big grin and a Winnie the Pooh book. Delighted, we snuggle up to read a tale of, I assume, cutesie bears and piglets. Not so. The story was nonsensical and borderline pornographic. The text follows:

Playing Poohsticks
Inspired by A.A. Milne
Illustrations by Ernest H. Shepard
Copyright 2003 Dutton's Children's Books

"One day Pooh and Piglet and Rabbit and Roo were all playing Poohsticks together.

They dropped their sticks and when Rabbit said "Go!" they hurried to the other side of the bridge to see whose stick would come out first.

"I can see yours, Piglet," said Pooh.

"Mine's the sort of greyish one," said Piglet.

And out floated Eeyore.

"I didn't know that you were playing," said Roo.

"I'm not," said Eeyore. "Tigger bounced me."

"I didn't bounce. I coughed," said Tigger.

"What does Christopher Robin think about it?" asked Pooh.

"I think we all ought to play Poohsticks," said Christopher Robin.

So they did."

I shit you not. That is an actual published children's book. In its entirety. Sad, eh? Is it any wonder that our youth has gone to hell in a handbasket? I am sure some book wig author choked this bad boy out on a piece of toilet paper while draped across a toilet seat in some drunken haze. How do I get me one of those gigs??