Crispy Goat Nads and Other Fond Childhood Memories

I woke up this morning with a clear vision from my childhood. A real "blast from the past" you might say. When I was about 11 years old Ma and Pa bought me a African pygmy goat named Demetri. He was tiny and just a few days old. I had to bottefeed him several times a day. Ma and Pa had the breeding farm "elastrate" him prior to our acquisition of him. This entails putting a rubber ring around the goat's "junk", cutting off the blood supply so eventually the nads shrivel up and fall off. Gross, eh? Yes, it was gross. I remember we were playing with Demetri in the living room. Suddenly a hairy bacon-bit type nugget fell on the floor. I picked it up to inspect it closer. Egads, it was a crispy, dry, goat scrotum.

Unfortunately the tale of woe does not end there. This barbaric procedure caused a gangrene infection in the little goat. His whole underside became infected and peeled. We took him to the vet who recommended spreading a salve on it daily. The only problem was that the goat would frantically lick the salve off the moment it was applied.

So what did we do?

We got a pair of BroMo's underpants. Mo would have been about 9 at the time, so these were tiny little blue skivvies. We put these little gonchies on the goat, and fastened them in place with suspenders. Luckily little boy underwear come equipped with those little weenie pouches on the front, you know the kind. We were able to stick poor Demetri's tail out through the little weenie pouch. It was a good fit. Slowly Demetri's health improved and he no longer had reason to sport little boy undies.

Yes, folks, that is the first thought I had upon rising this morning.

And don't you worry...there are plenty of tales of that hellion goat to come.

Later,
Tams